I find couples work to be the most challenging and the most rewarding. It’s hard. But, the harder the better.
Timing Is Everything When It Comes To Marriage Counseling
According to the Gottman Institute, couples wait for an average of 6 years to start therapy. That’s SIX years of being unhappy before they seek help in counseling. Many couples who come to see me consider couples counseling a last resort. Of course, they’ve been very unhappy for many years. It’s this timing that often makes couples work so hard.
My work with couples is to provide the road map to get your marriage back on track. We talk about the patterns you’re in. What’s working, and what’s not. And, what we can do to bring the couple together in a healthy way. This is something we call the “circle of health”. Most couples come in with some conflicts at the top of their mind. I help couples work on their differences in a loving, constructive way. The goal is not necessarily to achieve some resolution. Some problems are perpetual and need to be accepted and negotiated. It’s easy for me to say. I’m not in the relationship. But, I am looking in from the outside. In fact, you’ll hear me say “That’s easy for me to say” a lot!
If your goal is to break up, then we’re not a good fit for couples therapy.
Even if you’re 90% sure you’re out, but not 100%, I can work with that.
If your goal is to come together and resume and rejuvenate the love and companionship you want, let’s do this. The training and experience I’ve received from the Couples Institute, the Gottman Institute, and Relational Life Therapy will be put to good use. Together, we can all work to get your marriage back on the right track.
A word about my couples therapy training:
Many therapists say they do couples work without any training outside of graduate school. Seeing a therapist with actual post-graduate couples training is a key to successful therapy. I’ve participated in three different styles of training and, in my practice, they work together. The foundation of my work is rooted in Relational Life Therapy. Relational Life Therapy, or RLT, has some distinct differences from traditional therapy. Fortunately, these differences speak directly to my personal style. If you’re looking for direction, clarity, and authenticity, then we’re a good fit.
Online Counseling for Couples in New Jersey
I currently offer couples counseling only online due to the COVID 19 pandemic. Online couples counseling works. I have found that the intimacy and closeness of the screen can sometimes be more intense than in the office. Couples also seem to have a harder time “going off the rails”. Resorting to their usual, non-workable behavior when they’re at home talking to me. However, sometimes it’s the opposite. I get to see how a couple REALLY is rather than what they present in the office. So, it goes both ways.
Couples counseling can be confusing at times, especially when the desire to attend is greater for one, and not the other. Or, when one of you wants to meet with me individually. it’s best to talk about these potential scenarios ahead of time.