Blog2018-09-12T22:27:12+00:00

What is Psychotherapy & What Can You Expect from It? 

Psychotherapy may sound daunting and vague to anyone who’s never worked with a therapist before. Yet, it simply refers to treatment which uses personal interactions to help a person overcome problems, achieve goals, or generally get them [...]

5 Tips for Opening Up to Your Therapist 

For some individuals, opening up to a therapist comes naturally and with ease. For others, and especially those with social anxiety, talking about oneself is daunting—even when a person knows it’s in their best interest to [...]

What to Do When Money Becomes a Marriage Issue

Taking a Closer Look: Your Fights Probably Aren’t Just About Money Some couples may struggle to pay the bills, while others may have no apparent financial problems whatsoever. Many fall somewhere in between. Yet, no [...]

Why Arguing is Actually Healthy in Relationships  

While arguing on a daily basis isn’t exactly an indicator of a strong relationship, there’s one issue which is even more dangerous for couples: ongoing silence. Although disagreements are rarely fun, they’re almost always necessary. After [...]

Managing Conflict in Your Relationship

All relationships have conflict.  Managing conflict is not easy.  You might find yourself lost, looking everywhere for answers and solutions,  but you just come up with empty handed and are even more lost and confused. [...]

How to Repair Your Relationship

Each year, more than two million marriages come to an end via divorce. The average marriage is in trouble for at least 7 years before the couple seeks  help.  Couples end up in crisis situations, [...]

  • Couples Counseling Mountainside

The goal of conflict

Generally, people think the goal of conflict is winning. Sometimes in life it is.  But in a marriage, that's another losing strategy. If you're winning an conflict, then your partner is losing, and that's a [...]

  • Couples Counseling Westfield

Ask for what you want

Asking for what you want, rather than telling your partner what they did wrong, or about what you don't want, is a winning strategy. A common mistake couples make is they don't take time to [...]

The Emotional Bank Account

One of the things that connected with me personally when I first heard John and Julie Gottman speak was the concept of the emotional bank account. Several of the Gottman couples counseling winning strategies are [...]

Politics and differences

Differences in politics has come up several times in my work with couples. This isn't new.  38% of married households contain a politically mismatched pair, according to recent survey data. When it does come up, [...]

“Now what do I do?”

  This is a question I get a lot during sessions, when clients have had a conflict, right in front of me. My answer is: Let’s do a quick repair. Repairs are one of the [...]

  • Couples Counseling Westfield

Response Ability

  The antidote to defensiveness is to accept responsibility for your role in the issue. Think about the word responsibility. Response. Ability. You have the ability to respond with patience and kindness. The key is [...]

  • mountainside couples counseling chuck beardsley

The 1 to 10 Scale

In the movie “War Games” (Yes, dating myself), the computer famously says “the only winning move is not to play.” Now there are obviously times in our marriage when we need to discuss things, topics [...]