New Jersey residents are fortunate to have a range of counselors who specialize in relationship issues. Even online therapists who work with couples! Yet, it’s critical to make sure that an individual is the right fit for you. Especially when you’re putting something as important as your marriage in the hands of someone else. Here are some helpful tips for choosing the best couples’ counselor to meet your needs.

A Guide for Choosing a Couples’ Therapist

Couple holding each other on a bench overlooking a beautiful mountain vista with a lake. Marriage counseling and couples therapy are both possible through online therapy in New Jersey at Mountainside Counseling Center.

Tip #1: Seek Expertise in Helping Couples in Therapy

Not all therapists are trained to work with couples. Having two people in their office at the same time does not make someone a couples’ counselor. Working with partners in committed relationships requires a specific set of skills. It’s not just helping an individual achieve personal goals. A couples’ therapist must guide two people in overcoming their differences.  I always say the couple is my client, not the wife, and not the husband. 
That’s not to say an excellent couples’ counselor can’t also be an individual therapist.  Sometimes, individual sessions with the couples therapist are helpful during the course of the couple’s work If your goal is to have a better, more fulfilling relationship, be sure to seek someone with training in couples’ therapy. Training from the Gottman Institute, the Couples Institute, or Relational Life Therapy is a few accreditations to look for

Tip #2: Look for Marriage Counseling Methods You Can Get Behind 

Cracked gold wedding ring. Divorce or infidelity can be discussed in marriage counseling or couples therapy in Westfield, NJ or through Online therapy in new Jersey with Mountainside Counseling Center.

Most couples’ therapists have an arsenal of techniques they can use to help partners work through challenges. Of course, certain exercises may force you to break out of your comfort zone a bit. But, they should feel like a step in the right direction—even if progress happens slowly. The methods should be realistic enough that you can practice them at home-if that works for you.  Some couples arrive at counseling in such a volatile state that the only place they can work on the relationship is in the therapists’ office.   The practices are focused on mutual understanding. But, if something doesn’t seem like it’s working even after you’ve given it a good try, your therapist should be open to your feedback. Of course, to be successful, any type of counseling will require an open mind and a willingness to change from both parties

Tip #3: Be Clear About Your Goals for Couples Therapy

The purpose of couples’ therapy is not to solve every issue you face as a couple. But, to develop tactics you can use to discuss and find a compromise in your relationship challenges. All while treating each other with love and compassion. For instance, parenting is often a source of stress and is a problem you’re likely to face for a few years. Couples’ counseling can help you understand each other. Help you take each other’s feelings into account. Then, build strategies you can use to get on the same page and tackle new issues as a unified front when they arise. One of your counselor’s first steps should be helping you set clear goals. Otherwise, it will be impossible to tell whether you’re really making progress. 

Happy young couple sitting outside with sunglasses on, after couples therapy in Westfield, NJ at Mountainside Counseling. You can also get help from a licensed online therapist in video therapy or telehealth in New Jersey.Tip #4: Like Your Marriage Therapist

This should go without saying, but just in case: No counselor can really offer you any help if you don’t like them. 
This isn’t just opinion but the research has shown that the relationship with the therapist is keyA good therapist will explain in understanding terms what they’re training is experience and style Some New Jersey therapists work hard to maintain a balance of understanding for each of the partners. Other couples’ therapists do what we call “take sides”. Sometimes, a problem in marriage is due to one person’s behavior. If they can stop it or change it, the marriage will improve.  And a good therapist will coach you to do the work yourself, and not do it for you. Of course, a therapist can help you work through confusing emotions. But, only you and your partner get to decide whether you want to make things work or not. 

I can help your relationship thrive, in couples therapy online in New Jersey or in Mountainside, NJ.

If you’re seeking a trained and qualified professional for your couples’ therapy, NJ based therapist Chuck Beardsley, LCSW is your top choice. See firsthand how you can build a stronger relationship with my targeted methods. Starting marriage counseling at my New Jersey mental health clinic is simple. You don’t have to live with conflict in your relationship forever. When you’re ready to begin, follow these steps:

  1. Click here to schedule your first appointment.
  2. Meet with a trained couples therapist in New Jersey who gets it.
  3. Get your relationship back on track with the right tools for communication and connection.

Other Therapy Services at Mountainside Counseling Center

Here in Mountainside, NJ, we know that you are not a one-dimensional human. That’s why we treat your mental health needs in a comprehensive, individualized way. In addition to online counseling, our therapists provide a range of mindfulness-based therapy services for individuals and couples. One of our specialties is serving individuals recovering from addiction and the family members and loved ones who are supporting them. We also have more on our blog, regularly updated with relevant information for your life. We look forward to meeting you, soon.