This is a question I get a lot during sessions, when clients have had a conflict, right in front of me. My answer is: Let’s do a quick repair. [...]
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So far chuckbeardsley has created 14 blog entries.
The antidote to defensiveness is to accept responsibility for your role in the issue. Think about the word responsibility. Response. Ability. You have the ability to respond with patience [...]
I love the Starbucks app. Now I have a relationship with Starbucks where they know what I want and need, without me having to ask for it. I just show [...]
What does it mean when I say I work as a contemplative psychotherapist? If you’re a current client of mine, or considering becoming a client, this is a fundamental question-what [...]
In my work with couples a lot of people ask questions like “How can you do that kind of work?-sitting there while couples yell at each other, I couldn’t take [...]
Research shows that almost 2/3 of marital issues are unsolvable. At the Gottman Institute We call these perpetual problems. Psychologist Dan Wile says, "When choosing a long-term partner, you will [...]
As a contemplative therapist, I utilize a combination of traditional psychotherapy techniques, buddhist psychology and meditation. Mindfulness meditation, compassion training and self compassion cultivation are some examples of the methods [...]
It’s happened again. The kind of fight with a partner that we dread-the kind that start off seemingly with a simple request or discussion and somehow we’re in a knock [...]
Contempt: Contempt is the most detrimental of the four horsemen to a relationship. In Gottman language we talk about “negative sentiment override”, which means that there is a time when [...]
Stonewalling: Stonewalling is the fourth but not the least of the four horsemen. Stonewalling is occurring when a person in a conflict is so flooded with feelings that they become [...]